Iokwe from OK! Meekness and Weakness

Iokwe!

I've just got a couple things to share this week, both from yesterday:

During church yesterday, our high counselor (someone who visits the branch to speak on behalf of the stake president [the leader over several congregations]) came to speak to us again. This year's goal for us is to gain more Christ-like attributes. So far, they have discussed humility, submissiveness, and, yesterday, meekness. As far as I know, in Marshallese all of those translate to the same word, and they have similar meanings in English as well, so he explained how he believed they were defined.

As Elder Kilmer puts it: "Our district from left to right: Elder Lazarus, Elder Oberender, Elder Munson, Elder Rodier, Elder Hendrix, Elder Smith, Elder Marshallese Smith (my comp), Elder Awesome"

District Frisbee Golf

He said humility is the way we look at ourselves. Submissiveness is related to our interactions with those around us. So, essentially, if we are humble, we don't think of ourselves as being above or better than others. We recognize our faults and imperfections, but we also don't tear ourselves down and stick our heads in the sand. Being submissive has to do with whether we follow our will or someone else's, whether we bend to them or not. 

Meekness, he said, is about to whom you are being submissive. 

Meekness is not being weak because the way you are submitting is not just bending whichever way the wind blows or letting people walk over you. It is choosing to be submissive to God. When we choose to be submissive to God, it is not weakness. It is hard. It takes strength to submit to God; he doesn't ask us to do things that are always easy. Loving your enemies, doing good to them that hate you, taking time to serve others, paying tithing, making time for church, prayer, scripture study, not even thinking about committing adultery... Those are not easy commandments to submit our wills to. 

As he spoke, it became increasingly clear to be that by choosing to meekly submit to God's will, we aren't short changing ourselves or lowering our position. We aren't missing out on anything or losing anything important. We will gain strength in choosing things that are best. If we really believe that God loves us, shouldn't we also believe that His will is what will make us most strong, most happy, and leave us best off? 

My personal story on the matter:

This last week I read this scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 84: And any man that shall go and preach this gospel of the kingdom, and fail not to 

continue faithful in all things, shall not be 

weary in mind, neither darkened, neither in body, limb, nor joint; and a hair of his head shall not fall to the 

ground unnoticed. And they shall not go hungry, 

neither athirst.

I had been thinking a lot about this scripture this week. Pretty applicable to me because I'm tired a lot. Well, yesterday was the most physically and mentally trying day of my mission to date. Not only did I get wreaked by my allergies (there were literally balls of allergen stuff I could see floating through the air), but I also got hit hard by some sort of 24-hour flu. I felt like I could never get enough water in my system. My whole body ached, my muscles felt like they hadn't been stretched in years, and I was so low on energy that I felt as if I had been fasting for two days straight. It was hard even standing. 

However, I felt like I was not supposed to just lie around in the house all day. I felt desire to go out and work. I honestly thought that I was probably going to pass out mid-afternoon, but I got down on my knees that morning and prayed that if it was Heavenly Father's will for me to go out and work that day, that He would please grant me the strength to go and I would do everything I could to follow what He wanted for me. 

Not only did I not pass out despite biking about 8-10 miles yesterday, but we managed to find someone who told us that he had given up smoking and drinking on behalf of his family and wanted to continue making changes to get closer to God and teach his kids right; as well as resolve the problems of someone we are currently teaching who we have been rather concerned about. He had been sitting on the fence about whether he actually wanted to change or just stay in the same rut, but by the end of the lesson he decided to make some changes and wanted us to come back. 

I know the scripture says that they shall not be weary. I was so weary. I think the principle is that Heavenly Father will take care of His children when they are faithful. Despite being physically spent, I saw blessings from being obedient and submissive to what Heavenly Father wanted for me, even though it would have been nice in the moment to just sleep the whole day. But, by the end of the day, I felt fine again. This morning, I went on a run. 

I know that Heavenly Father wants what is best for us. By being meek and choosing to be strong by submitting to His will, we will be happier. My challenge this week is for you all to choose one thing that you need to do or not do in order to be meek and submit to God's will. Do it!

That's all, except for pictures. Love you all!

Jerammaan!

Elder Josh Kilmer
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission, Marshallese speaking不動心
Fudoshin:  immovable spirit

Iokwe from OK: Happy Easter!

Iokwe!

So, this week was definitely crazy. We were trying to move out of our house by our deadline on Saturday, which was great except we had Zone Conference in OKC on Thursday and Elder Smith and Elder Oberender were going on exchanges in Edmond right after Zone Conference through Friday -- also, we still had yet to find a house to move into.... Which meant that we spent far less time doing actual proselyting than we wanted to and a lot of time tossing all of the contents of our house into the other Elders' house just down the street.... only to find out that our housing coordinator extended our stay at our current house for two weeks to give us more time. So we have now packed everything back into our house and are preparing for round two, hopefully this week!

(Elder Lazarus, Elder Smith, Elder Kilmer, Elder Oberander)

In other news, this transfer I have really been focusing on being firmer in the faith of Christ. I have realized that I believe in God, I believe in Christ, I believe they exist... but they can sometimes feel kind of far away. Like they are some distant beings that I am unfamiliar with that I turn to for help from time to time. 

In Marshallese, to say that you know a person, you use an extra word that makes the sentence: "I know the identity of *insert name here*." So if you were to say "I know Jesus Christ" you would say "I know His identity" or "I know His character". I have really felt like I have been coming to know His identity more and more. As I have really sought to know Him, He has become real to me. Someone that I feel is close by, not some unknown being who watches from a distance. I feel that He is near me, and within arm's reach. 

I am so grateful for a Savior who is real. He really is. I know He loves us and He knows us. Have a great week!

Jerammaan!

Elder Josh Kilmer
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission, Marshallese speaking

Iokwe from OK! Sleeping Like a Sea Cucumber

Iokwe!

So, there is a phrase in Marshallese, which is "kiki in jibenben", meaning "to sleep like a sea cucumber". Do I know why they say that? Not exactly.... But if cucumbers sleep anything like rocks do in English, then that is exactly what I have been doing this week. At night, during studies, during lessons... I even fell asleep during a phone conversation with Elder Lazarus. Somehow Elder Smith and I don't know how to make sure we get enough sleep at night. There always seems to be something that we have to take care of that lasts past 10:30. 

However, despite the continual exhaustion, life is so great! We had 115 people at church this week. 115. That, in my experience, has only been surpassed by one week when we had 4 baby blessings, which is a family event, so Marshallese people ate it up and invited all of their relatives. The great thing though, was not the number of people, but rather that all of the people that attended were people that I have been working with for a year now. Families that we have consistently visited in an effort to get them a ride or to build up the desire to come to church, all suddenly attended together. The Spirit was so strong as so many of the members stood up in front of the congregation to share what they believe and the blessings they have received in their lives. 

Also, one of our members is a very prominent figure in the Marshallese community (he used to be the president of the community and still has a lot of interaction with important state representatives from all over the country), and a couple reporters came to interview him, which involved coming to church and sitting through the entire service. It was pretty fun to translate for them, especially since it was a testimony Sunday, so I got to translate to them the everyone's testimony of a living prophet today and of our Savior and Redeemer about 10-12 times.

In other news.... BARMEL GOT BAPTIZED!!!! 10 years in the running, having finally had his divorce papers filed and processed and having married his (now) wife, he was ready to go. He was so excited and he seemed so happy. Talking to him beforehand, he explained how he had made a promise to himself that when he was baptized, he would put everything in his old life behind him and move forward in doing what was right. I know that he has put behind a bad past and he said that while it was hard to leave behind a few things, he will now endure to the end of the world. What a blessing it was to hear such commitment from him. One thing that I am really learning to appreciate is commitment, especially commitment to following Christ. I know Barmel is going to be a strength to his family and everyone who knows him. 

As we lead up to Easter, I invite you to view this 2 minute video celebrating Christ as the PRINCE OF PEACE:  https://www.mormon.org/?cid=HP_SU_9-4-2017_dMIS_fMORG_xLIDyL1-A_ .  This message is why I am serving a mission.  

Life is so good. Enjoy this next week!  

Iokwe from OK! Firing it up in Enid

A few weeks behind on Josh's posts as we were on vacation.  Here is last week's.

Iokwe!

Life is so good. We are literally (figuratively) on fire right now. 

Also, I just learned today from Elder Larsen that Dani and his family (remember them?) are doing SO well right now. Apparently they haven't missed a single week of church and they should be on track to be sealed in the temple as a family towards the end of this year. Elder Larsen reports that they are really happy. I love them so much and I am so glad they are doing so well. 

Back to being on fire: 

Elder Smith and I are having so much fun right now. We are also so. tired. *sigh.....* I want sleep so badly but I want to work even more.... But it still feels like my heart is being torn apart between two loves. 

Aside from the lack of sleep, things are going so great. Elder Smith is awesome. He has such a great desire to work and he has such a positive attitude. Every time something bad happens, he just shrugs it off and starts running way too energetically towards the next thing on our schedule. It's so great.

One change I've been experiencing recently is the feeling that the Gospel is really important. I always knew that for myself it has great value. But I have been, up to this point, rather timid sometimes when it came to trying to help others see that as well. If they came up with excuses for why they didn't pray or read or come to church, I would tend to accept those and let them keep making them. I'm really starting to feel now, however, the true importance of the things that we have to share with them and the importance of acting on them. Reading the scriptures is more important than sleeping in. Going to church and taking the sacrament is more important than the party your friends are holding (big problem out here). Feeling the Spirit is more peaceful than sleeping in. Being changed by the Savior's grace is more satisfying than being lazy. 

As I am really trying to apply this in my own life, I feel such a desire to help others to do the same. There is nothing I have found so far in my life that can bring more peace, more happiness, more love, more unity in our families, than actually living the principles that the Savior taught when He was on the earth. Principles like faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of His Spirit, loving others, serving, studying, praying, being humble, forgiving. No status, no position, no achievement, no pleasurable activity can provide the joy we can experience by applying these teachings because they are His teachings. As we follow them, we let the Savior and His light into our lives.

In Preach My Gospel, our missionary manual, it says:

"Commitment is the act of obligating oneself to a course of action and then diligently following through on that decision. When people are genuinely committed, they have real intent, meaning that they fully intend to do what they have committed to do. They make an unwavering and earnest decision to change. They become devoted to Christ and dedicate themselves to His gospel."

This is what I am experiencing in my life. Commitment. I'm committed because I have felt the change these teachings have brought to my life, because by living them I have allowed the Savior to change me into something better. And I am more happy. I have more peace. I have more light. 

If you felt anything while reading this, even the slightest desire stirring in you, my challenge this week is to follow the Savior, live these principles, and come and be happy too. 

I know what I shared is true. I know it has value in everyone's lives, no matter where we are or who we are. 

Thanks for reading this far into my mission! I really appreciate the support and I love hearing from you all! Have a great week! 

Jerammaan!

Elder Josh Kilmer
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission, Marshallese speaking
不動心
Fudoshin:  immovable spirit

Iokwe from OK: Some pictures

Iokwe!

This week is more pictures and transfer updates!

Elder Lazarus and Elder Oberender will be Marshallese speaking West

Elder Smith (Marshallese) and I will be Marshallese East

Elder Smith (Spanish) and Elder Rodier will still be Spanglish in Enid North

I am so excited! I wanted to be Elder Smith's companion ever since I met him in the MTC. Dream team is here!

1) Us walking home because our car was grounded.

2) Candid of Elder Lazarus

3) LittleRose (who moved!!!) and Sheren and a sunburned Elder Kilmer (from walking because the car was grounded.....)

4) Elder Rodier and I are both climbers, so we created our own traverse out of tables.

Iokwe from OK: Weird Week!

Iokwe!

So, we had a curve ball thrown at us this week when on Thursday Sister Mansell called and told us that Elder Nicholas is getting moved to be an office elder in the city to go help relocate the mission office from OKC to Edmond (I think) during the next three weeks or so. Apparently they only had one office elder at the time and needed another one to help during the move. So she basically said that some missionaries were coming up in about 2 hours and we both needed to pack because he was leaving and I was forming a trio with Elder Lazarus and Elder Tetea to cover all of Enid. Soooooo that was sudden and weird. It was also hilarious because Elder Nicholas and I always joked about how being called to an office elder was a huge insult, as if President Mansell were trying to tell you that you were a terrible proselyter so you needed to be pulled out to do busy work so you don't do any more damage. We had a good laugh at Elder Nicholas's expense over that one. 

So currently, Elder Tetea, Elder Lazarus, and myself are in charge of both the East and the West Marshallese areas in Enid, which has been a bit of an adjustment because we have been trying to merge our records and get acquainted with each other's investigators. But we're starting to work things out. They told us it should be a temporary change for just these three remaining weeks in this transfer and then we should have two companionships again and things will be back to normal. 

When you're a missionary, living in a trio equates to working really hard to follow the schedule and get to things on time (even with our two bathrooms), and especially with our weird move and sudden changes, we've really struggled to get in our studies this week. I've really felt the impact of losing those precious hours of spiritual preparation for the day. I've found that I've been more inclined to think about myself only, respond poorly, complain, and generally give in to all of the selfish impulses that make us worse people than we want to be.

 I've discovered in my own life that there are certain things that I need to consistently do in order to maintain my well-being. These things include (among others) daily scripture study, daily prayer (ideal when humble and sincere), spending time serving others, spending time with uplifting people, engaging in uplifting and wholesome media, attending church each week, exercising, eating well, etc.

Honestly, it's not hard to see that those things are good. Every time I make a list of those things, I feel kind of stupid because it's so obvious. However, I've found so often in my life that I end up excluding some of those activities from my daily life for some reason or another and then end up wondering a few days or weeks later why on earth I feel so stressed and oppressed by everything in life. I end up so irritable and I feel like I'm not in control of my life, and every time I stop to think about what is wrong, I can see that for the past while I have cut out those good things in my life, either intentionally or accidentally.

I feel like we are a little like plants in that respect. Though they need constant nourishment, if necessary, plants can go a day without water. However, when several days pass, they really start to miss it. After a while longer, they wilt, turn brown, and eventually start falling apart. 

As I work hard to make sure I get the necessary water for my well-being this week, my challenge for you all is to evaluate your lives and see if you are missing anything that you need. And then make time for it. I know that sometimes those little things don't really seem to make much of a difference, but I promise that over time you will feel a whole lot better as you invite more light into your life. We see it every time as the people we meet with begin to read the scriptures, pray, and come to church. I'm especially a big proponent of those three. They bring me so much peace. 

Hope your week goes well as you give it a shot!

-- 

Jeramman!

Elder Josh Kilmer

Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission

不動心 Fudoshin:  immovable mind

www.mormon.org

Iokwe from OK! Awesome week

Iokwe!

This email will be almost entirely dedicated to my exchange (note: exchanges are when missionaries switch companions for a day to learn from each other and help out in the other missionary's area) on Wednesday with Elder Rodier, our district leader, because that was an awesome day (this is going to be long, but the whole day was awesome, so you're getting all of it):

In the morning, before the exchange, I made a few goals for things that I wanted to improve on, including listening and testifying with feeling and sincerity. We then met up at their house to exchange for the day. We had a little down time, so I pulled out Preach My Gospel (our missionary handbook) and read in Chapter 5 about how the Book of Mormon testifies of Jesus Christ and how when we share that with others that the Holy Ghost should be a witness of our testimony and the power by which we share that. That stuck with me, since it related to one of my goals for the day.

Immediately after that, we went to go teach one of the English missionaries' investigators, named Isabel. We were going to teach her about some of the commandments we have received and had been invited to a member's home to do so. It turned out that this member was an older woman who had a caretaker helping her out that day. We taught Isabel and not only did she accept the commandments we shared with her, but she also asked if there were any more and what they were! Elder Rodier and I were surprised (because who asks for more rules?) and happily overviewed the rest of the commandments, which she accepted and told us she is already paying tithing and fasting in her church. 

She then proceeded to tell us that she feels that the Book of Mormon is truly God's word, because of the change in her life that she has seen as she has been reading it. We were so happy to hear that and we could see that she seemed happier and like there was more light in her life than when we had first met her. 

During the whole lesson, the caretaker I mentioned had been sitting in the background and listening. I had noticed and intended to talk with her once we were done, but Elder Rodier beat me to it and zoomed right on up to her, asking what she thought of what we were talking about. I was caught in a conversation with the other two, but when I zoned back in on their conversation, I heard Tony (the caretaker) talking excitedly about how she always felt like she wanted more scripture that was written for our time. I quickly joined their conversation and we spent a good 30 minutes explaining to her about the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith. She loved everything and seemed so hungry for more knowledge. We left her with a Book of Mormon. 

After that lesson, we returned home to plan out an important lesson with Doug, another investigator of theirs who had been really struggling lately and had several concerns about baptism and why it was important for him, as well as how the Book of Mormon and Bible support each other and work together. We spent about 2.5 hours planning for this lesson, pulling out scriptures from both the Bible and the Book of Mormon and discussing the direction we wanted to take for this lesson (which was so much fun; I love planning). 

Just when we were starting to finalize everything, Elder Rodier stopped and said "I feel like we're missing something... I feel like we need to be out working right now."  We were both happy to skip dinner and head out to follow our impression, which we did promptly. Upon leaving our house, we saw a woman across the street who was packing up and about to head inside from working in her yard. We biked over and after talking with her for a little, we learned that she is currently trying to get back together with her husband and that she is having a rough time. I got to share with her how reading the Book of Mormon has helped me during some really hard times in my life because of the witness it gives of the Savior, who is able to help us when we can't do much for ourselves. I really tried to follow what I had read and set goals for this morning and I meant what I said and said it with feeling. Elder Rodier jumped in to add to what I said and we all felt the Spirit testifying that what we were saying was true. She began to tear up several times and told us at the end of the conversation that she felt encouraged and strengthened. We credited that (appropriately) to the Spirit. We gave her a Book of Mormon and she said she would read it. 

We were both really happy to have followed through on that prompting from the Spirit because if we had waited, she would have gone inside and we never would have gotten to talk with her because her husband is less-than-friendly to strangers and had put a sign on the door to discourage people knocking. That was the perfect time to meet her.

At the end of the night, we had our lesson with Doug. I have been to his house several times now and already knew that my allergies and their 6-7 dogs would not make for a very happy Elder Kilmer. Every time I had been there before I had been left sniffling and sneezing the whole time. Before we went inside, I said a quick mental prayer, asking that I would not be incapacitated and that I would be able to participate in this important lesson. Well, the lesson went really well and, despite several dogs lying on top of me, I didn't sneeze or sniffle once (though as soon as we got home, I got hit so hard by my allergies that I had to change my clothes and sneeze about a hundred times). At the end of the lesson, Doug said the most humble prayer I have ever heard: he said he knows that in the past he has been really stubborn and run away from things that are good, and he asked that God would send His Spirit to help him recognize what His will is so that he doesn't make the same mistake now. 

At the end of the day, we had experienced so many miracles and everything from talking with everyone we saw, to preparing a personalized lesson plan, to skipping dinner to follow an impression was exactly what I had hoped for in my mission. It was such a great day and a huge blessing for me to see that Heavenly Father really is in charge of His own work. He knows all of His children and will make sure things go well when they are willing to be obedient and seek after Him. 

I wanted to share this with everyone, even if you don't follow all of my beliefs, to provide an uplift after last week's kind of downer email, and especially to testify that Heavenly Father knows us and will bless us by reaching out to us personally, just as He did for me on this exchange. This whole day was tailored exactly for me; all of it was absolutely perfect and I couldn't have asked for a better day. I know that Heavenly Father loves us and wants so badly to bless us and help us recognize those blessings. 

Also, the struggles I mentioned last week are starting to work themselves out now. The future is looking bright! Have a great week!

Jerammaan!

Elder Josh Kilmer
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission, Marshallese speaking
不動心
Fudoshin:  immovable spirit