Iokwe from OK! More Growing Pains

Iokwe!

It's funny how foreign that word is to me after only a couple months.

We had a great miracle this week: On Wednesday, we got a media referral for someone who wanted a Bible and was also interested in a Book of Mormon. We took one of our members to go visit her and she loved every minute of it. She was so excited to learn and seems to have so many questions we can help answer. She's been through some difficult marriage issues and it just so happens that the member we took is someone who wrote a couple books on marriage and is currently a lawyer who works in that area. Imagine that. Needless to say, Prisscilla was really comforted by it all and has been happily reading the Book of Mormon since and asking a lot of questions. She's out of town this week, but excited to come to church and meet with us again. 

This last week or so has been quite the struggle. I keep coming to junctures in my life when I end up thinking, "I know I'm supposed to be continuing to progress and grow, but I can't recognize a lot more to improve on..." I essentially reach the extent of my knowledge of what I need to change about myself, kind of like how an athlete without a trainer can plateau and not understand how to reach higher levels.

That's usually when Heavenly Father kindly points out to me a couple things. If I don't get it from there, it's usually illustrated very vividly through a few crash and burn cycles. Thankfully I haven't been following the crash and burn route recently, but I have had a couple things revealed to me that have been pretty tough. But, I have come to better understand the value of this scripture that I have heard so often: 

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. (Ether 12:27)

It's been a great reminder of where true strength comes from. We can't expect it to come from ourselves - we've only had so much time to learn, stretch, and grow - we need to rely on the Lord as He helps to build up our strength. I know He has our growth and happiness as His goal.

What a blessing it is to have a Heavenly Father who loves us enough to point out our weaknesses. What if I stayed stuck in the stage of not knowing where to go from here? It would be like a child who was never able to leave the stage of stumbling steps that could barely be called "walking". I am so grateful, despite how hard it is to see myself clearly in a mirror, to be shown my imperfections and faults. I would never grow to be anything great otherwise. It's definitely been hard - I've had the choice of letting it get me down or denying it - but I've tried to let it humble me and as I have done so, I have felt the promise that weak things will become strong come true for me. I'm happy to look forward to a future where someday all weak things will have become strong for me.

Love you all! Keep growing!

Jerammaan!

Elder Josh Kilmer
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission, English-Marshallese speaking
不動心
Fudoshin:  immovable spirit
www.mormon.org

Iokwe from OK! -- Happiness is having suit pants

Iokwe!

It really is. I've had off-colored suit pants for the past few months since my suit pants had a hole and my normal slacks are close enough to not look horrible... Until you look closer. So I finally got those fixed this week and the relief has been tangible. Nothing weighs on you as heavily as social pressure to match your pants and suit.

Elder Kilmer in the middle with new missionaries.

Side note from Mama Kilmer:  for those of you who know and love Elder Kilmer, you know that probably his lowest priority is fashion.  Special shoutout to President and Sister Mansell for lovingly pointing out that a representative of Jesus Christ probably should care enough to shine his shoes and have matching suit pants.  

This week, what I have been learning can be summed up by a couple excerpts from two talks from a general authority and an apostle given this year:

"Do you remember the biblical story of the woman who suffered for 12 years with a debilitating  problem? She exercised great faith in the Savior, exclaiming, “If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.” 

This faithful, focused woman needed to stretch as far as she could to access His power. Her physical stretching was symbolic of her spiritual stretching.   

Many of us have cried out from the depths of our hearts a variation of this woman’s words: 

'If I could spiritually stretch enough to draw the Savior’s power into my life, I would know how to handle my heart-wrenching situation. I would know what to do. And I would have the power to do it.'

When you spiritually stretch beyond anything you have ever done before, then His power will flow into you.  The gospel of Jesus Christ is filled with His power, which is available to every earnestly seeking daughter or son of God."  

I have experienced this stretching over the past few weeks. But, not just because of inadequacy, but also because I have begun to yearn for greater light.

“That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receveth more light; and that 

light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.”

That light I feel has continued to increase for me. I am so much happier than I have ever been - life seems more full. I believe that it has come from a simple mindset to be light-seeking. Elder Bragg promises us that there is always light available to us, especially from three sources: light from the church, light from the gospel, and light from our Redeemer.

As I have stretched beyond what I thought was my capacity towards the Savior in an effort to draw His life-giving power into my life, I have found that light available to me. It's life-promoting and positive. I love my life and I love trying to share what I'm finding with others. In reality, the light from the church and light from the gospel is light from our Redeemer. My invitation this week is to be light-seeking and spiritually stretch out to Him as you read your scriptures more intently, pray more sincerely, and attend church more purposefully. Gather that light!

Make it a great week!

Jerammaan!

Elder Josh Kilmer
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission, English-Marshallese speaking
不動心
Fudoshin:  immovable spirit

Iowke in OK: Wow, that was fast!

Iowke!

Yep, transfers again. It was a really fast 6 weeks. Luckily.... I'm staying! With Elder Wold! I'm pretty excited to continue serving here. I really love this ward and I'm so grateful to have a companion like Elder Wold. He's so humble and willing to help out in whatever way he can.

This week, I'm keeping it short. But life is great. I'm constantly tired, but I've felt the Savior's staying hand this week. I'm determined to keep pressing on towards a brighter future. I love this gospel and I love being here on this earth and enjoying the time I have to learn and progress. What a great life.

Love you all!

Jeramman!

P.S. My camera battery has died and I still have yet to charge it. I'm probably in major picture debt right now. I'll make that happen soon.

Jerammaan!

Elder Josh Kilmer
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission, English-Marshallese speaking不動心
Fudoshin:  immovable spirit
www.mormon.org