Humility and guidance

Iokwe!

I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on my progress and testimony this week. My desires have also been a point of introspection. I've been comparing them a lot with the past and wondering what I've really been learning about recently, through various struggles and experiences. I'm not really sure what the Lord fully has in store for me, but I feel like I've had brief glimpses at what He is trying to build me into, as well as what the past has held for me as I've pressed forward through challenges and obscurity. 

Perhaps the biggest thing I feel I have learned is that I have no need to worry. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to move forward and what path will be best. I've felt that I needed to know what was going on so that I could be figure out what the Lord wanted for me. If I didn't know, maybe I would have messed up His plan and lost what He had in store for me. I felt like I had to have control so I could steer in the right direction. If I didn't know what to do, I was hopeless and a failure. 

A hymn that has been sung twice now at church in the last couple of weeks has spoken some words of comfort to me:

Lead kindly light, amidst the encircling gloom,

Lead thou me on.

The night is dark and I am far from home;

Lead thou me on.

Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see 

The distant scene

One step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou

Shouldst lead me on

I loved to choose and see my path,

But now, lead thou me on

I loved the garish day, and spite of fears

Pride ruled my will

Remember not past years

I have learned to keep the words of this hymn in my heart: I don't need to see. I can trust and be led. As I have come to trust in the Lord more and rely on Him to guide, rather than the little that I can see being my solace, I have found great peace to be my companion on the path I see so little of in the darkness. It does not matter whether great or small stretches of the way are clear, I feel more secure in my walk than ever before and feel I can echo the words of the last verse:

So long thy power hath blessed me,

Sure it still will lead me on

O'er moor and fen and crag and torrent 'til

The night is gone

The night is gone when the Savior is close. I've felt His hand. He's always close, waiting for us to truly stretch out our hand to Him. It's not a matter of what we have earned or what we can give Him. It's only necessary for us to have a broken heart and contrite spirit so we will allow Him to work with us. Is there any that He has not commanded to come unto Him? I know that He has promised that for those who will come unto Him, "the veil shall be rent and ye shall see me and know that I am". It won't be with our natural mind, but it can be with our spiritual senses. This promise has been fulfilled for me to a greater and greater extent as I have allowed myself to rely on Him. I have a bright hope that it can be the same for everyone who reaches for Him. 

This is the Savior's invitation, and this week it will be mine:

Come, my brethren, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; and he that hath no money,   come buy and eat; yea, come buy wine and milk without money and without price.

Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which   cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and   come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be 

corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness.

Have a great week!

Love,

Elder Josh Kilmer

Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission

不動心 Fudoshin:  immovable mind