Iokwe from OK! Captains Log: Rations Are Low

Iokwe!

For the first time in my entire life (as a missionary, and probably the first time ever), I finally managed to ration my food to run out during breakfast on P-Day just before I go shopping. Having usually run out on Sunday or so (due to poor judgement), I am very pleased with myself. 

Elder Nicholas with a very large spoon

For those of you that asked about Elder Kilmer's
scary (to the Marshal Islanders) face from last week, he took a picture.
Here it is.

In other news, not too much news this week.

Also, I've tried to write this email about 5 times now with no success. Here's my final attempt (and I'm not changing it, so this is what you get). We're facing some pretty big struggles right now in our little group of Marshallese missionaries. I'm not going to share what we are dealing with because I don't really feel it would be beneficial, but I do want to say that I have really learned a lot from these difficulties.

One thing I have learned the most is the strength of humility and the value of charity. It is soooo easy when someone else wrongs you to withhold forgiveness to justify your injured feelings, and then continue to fault-find and look for all of the things they are doing wrong. It's easy to hate them for it. 

However, it is so much more of a relief to just let all of that go. Forgiveness is as much an act of mercy on ourselves as it is for the person that we are forgiving. It has brought me so much peace to catch myself mentally raking someone over the coals and then to just derail that train of thought and let it go. It has felt so good to pray for the people that I really don't even want to be around in the first place. I have noticed that life is so much easier when you don't let what other people do wreck your life.

I hope this turns less into an "Elder Kilmer is so great because he condescends to forgive everyone" email and more of an "Elder Kilmer learned something from his struggles and wants to share a nice experience" email. I'm really not perfect at this. But I do want to express that as I have tried, I have felt a difference in my life. I felt much, much happier.

What that means for you, I will leave open-ended this week. But think about how forgiveness can bless you in your life.

Alright, out of time. Talk to you later!

Jerammaan!

Elder Josh Kilmer
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission, Marshallese speaking

不動心
Fudoshin:  immovable spirit
www.mormon.org

Iokwe from OK! Learning Heaven revisited

Iokwewoj!

Well, turns out that Patrick didn't get married this last week. Our branch president suggested that he wait for his mom to come (she's coming in a couple weeks), which he thought was a good idea. Since we are in the other area that doesn't include Patrick, we were not as well-informed and didn't know about it until after we emailed. But, it will happen soon, so we're still excited about that.

Also, this week I learned, after talking with Elder Lazarus, that Marshallese people don't really like me when they first meet me. Something about looking scary. Apparently all of their little kids are afraid of me when we come inside their houses (which explains why they always cry...). Elder Lazarus said that after they get to know me they begin to like me, but I found it really funny that my first impression with them is so terrible. I guess I need to try to find a more uplifting and friendly resting face. 

This week we have zone conference on Friday, for which President Mansell asked us to study the talk His Grace is Sufficient, by Brad Wilcox. I LOVE THIS TALK. This is the talk that I based my farewell talk off of (everyone told me I did such a great job speaking and that's because I basically quoted the entirety of Brad Wilcox's talk - I'm not that good). I was happy to read through that again this morning. 

My favorite part about this talk is that Brad Wilcox explains about how "we are not earning heaven - we are learning heaven." This is one of my favorite doctrines. It gives us purpose to this life. We aren't here to pay our way to some celestial reward; if that were true we would never make it. We would spend eternity mourning over the immense void created by our own weakness and imperfections that would separate us from our Heavenly Father. No, instead, we are simply learning to live on a higher plane.

I may have shared this before (but I'm doing it again), but Brad Wilcox uses the example of a child taking piano lessons. The child's practice does not pay his mother back for the price of the lessons. Mom is repaid as she enjoys watching her child learn to live on a higher plane of life. The child is increasing its capacity to live more fully. This is the reason that mom requires practice. Because she loves her child. 

I know Heavenly Father loves us. That's why He gives us commandments and that's why He wants so badly for us to live by them: so that we can learn to live on a higher plane. We will be rewarded with the happy consequences that naturally follow a better way of life: happy families, satisfaction in choosing right, loving relationships, increased knowledge, removal of guilt and shame, etc. I'm so happy to be a part of that. As I have strived to learn to live in a better way, I have also seen that God doesn't just give us rules and then waits to see if we will obey them. I have felt Him pulling for me. And as Brother Wilcox says, I have felt the Savior pulling with me. They do everything short of controlling us to help us live so we can be happy. 

That's why I'm out here working every day: I want to help others learn how they can live this way too. 

Have a great week! Find a way to live life on a higher plane!

Jerammaan!

Elder Josh Kilmer
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission, Marshallese speaking

不動心
Fudoshin:  immovable spirit

Iokwe from OK: No Longer An Infant

Iokwe!

That's right. This week, I turn 1! I will officially hit my year mark in a couple days. Honestly, the biggest thing I have to report in that respect is that missionary work now seems like my normal life (*gasp*). I suppose it's kind of like working at the same company for a long time - you kind of find your niche. At the beginning I had to keep reminding myself that I'm a missionary and I have such and such responsibilities and I had to kick myself into gear to talk to people or whatever I was supposed to be doing. Now it just seems like second nature. Elder Kilmer is a missionary. I used to (mentally) laugh at people who felt weird when they went home from their missions, but I honestly think I may end up with problems adjusting.... *grimaces* 

In other news: Remember Patrick? The guy that we had been teaching for a long time who was just waiting for his kids to come from the Marshall Islands so he could get baptized, who then dropped off the face of the earth for months and then got found by Elder Menlove and myself during that ridiculous bike failure (that actually turned out to be a miracle) when my bike decided to destroy itself 6 miles from our house? Well. I forgot to mention recently that after going back to his house many many times, we finally caught him at a good time and had a great miracle lesson with him (this was about 3 weeks ago). We learned that his girlfriend is pregnant and the pregnancy was approaching its end, which has been keeping him occupied, along with terrible work hours. Well, despite all that and a newborn baby (as of 2 weeks ago), we managed to catch him at some good times and he told us that they want to get married as soon as possible and that his kids should be coming at the end of this month (probably), and that as soon as they do, he wants to be baptized!

So, I'm typing all of this in a suit because WE ARE ATTENDING HIS MARRIAGE TODAY! We're so excited. I'll send pictures next week.

This is a huge miracle because it's pretty much a direct response to the sad news I related last week about Rose moving. It's a good example of God taking care of His children. Patrick was lost for a while, but a loving Heavenly Father helped him to find the Elders again and he is back on the right track. It's a hopeful sign for me that He will take care of Rose too. 

This transfer, Elder Nicholas and I are focusing on the concept of "kaizen". It's a Japanese word, which represents the concept of continuous, incremental progress. Or, in other words: slow, but constant improvement. Basically, we are looking to take baby steps to better versions of ourselves and living better lives. We're really excited to see the progress that we make as we pick little things to improve on every week.

That's all I've got this week. I'm really happy to be out here. Life is great. Have a great week!

--

Jeramman!

Elder Josh Kilmer

Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission

不動心 Fudoshin:  immovable mind

www.mormon.org

Iokwe from OK: Baby Leaves the West Side Nest

Iokwe!

Exciting news: I'm flying the coop! (also, it's really sad how long it took me to write that idiom with the correct grammar, and also that I'm still a little unsure if it's entirely right; my English skills are continuing their decomposition)

Transfers are this Wednesday and I am moving to the East Side! It will be my first time on the East Side, after 5 transfers (7.5 months) on the West Side. I'll still be in Enid, still Marshallese speaking, just moving across the city. Also, I will be with my trainer and first companion, Elder Nicholas. I'm super excited for that, since we already know each other well and it will be easy to teach together. Elder Lazarus and Elder Tetea will be together on the West Side, so Elder Lazarus and I basically just did a switch. 

However, sad news this week:

Remember LittleRose and Rose, the two little girls we baptized a while back when it was myself and Elder Menlove together (if not, I attached some pictures)? Well, we just found out on Friday that Rose is moving to New York with her dad - today. AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH. I'm heartbroken because 1) these little kids are my friends. I feel like they are my own siblings. I would be happy to run around with them and play all day together. We have had so much fun teaching them and watching them learn and grow. 2) She's 9. She's moving to New York with her dad, who is not a member of our church. I know how much she loves coming to church and studying with us and she will have very little say in any of that after she moves. She may even forget that she was baptized.... 

So, to combat that, we gave her a Book of Mormon and all wrote a note in it for her. We also stuck a few pictures in there for her to remember her baptism and all of us. Hopefully she'll be able to read that and still get to enjoy the Spirit in her life.

My thought for this week is along those lines: It's really sad for us that Rose is leaving and we're a little anxious about her possibly having no access to church. However, something I've learned is that God is extremely invested in our lives. Not only our own, but in those of our friends and family. He knows each one of us personally and is keenly aware of everything that we experience and everything we do. He sees not only this moment, but also our future. Not only that, but he is a much more loyal friend than we will ever be to our own friends. He is a much more loyal family member than we will ever be. He loves us even more than we love ourselves.

As such, I know that He will take care of Rose. That also means that he will take care of my friends and my family. He will watch over those that we care about and he'll do a better job of it than we ever will. My invitation this week is to trust in His love for others, as well as in His love for us individually. I know that if we do, we will pray with greater faith for those who we care about who are struggling, and that we will receive peace and comfort, knowing that they are in truly good hands. 

Have a great week! I'm excited to send a good update from the East Side next week!

--

Jeramman!

Elder Josh Kilmer

Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Mission

不動心 Fudoshin:  immovable mind